Four years ago my daughter started playing rugby… I wasn’t happy, but only because it interfered with her softball I was coaching… but off she went and loves the sport. Never an injury, only bruises. She was particularly proud of cleat marks on her legs!?
Nearly 6 months ago, my now 17 yr old daughter got a concussion playing rugby the last game of the season. Never did we think her life would come to a screeching halt. It was just a tackle, she’d be fine in a week…. right?
Wrong.
It turned out she would not complete the last 2 months of her grade 11 year. She would not visit with friends, leave the house or even spend much time with the family for nearly 3 months. Her days were spent in a quiet room, curtains drawn, trying to keep out the light and noise.
She had a planned on working all summer, getting her driver’s license and spending time with friends. All her plans vanished and so did many friends, they didn’t understand how somebody was unable to communicate via text or leave the house.
She also gets post concussion amnesia, which occurs when her brain becomes overloaded, basically shuts down and she loses her filters. This means swearing and outbursts of which she had no recollection, conversations repeated over and over again.
This is a girl who has never used a swear word in front of her family, ever.
She got in an argument with me because I wanted to plant a rose bush in the back yard and she wanted sunflowers. I mean REALLY wanted sunflowers. To the point I was called an idiot, she stomped into the house… and went to sleep.
Who does that? No teenager I know wants sunflowers that badly. I decided given her situation I would plant both.
The next day I asked her if she was up for a ride to the nursery to buy sunflowers to plant. The response “why would you plant sunflowers, they don’t look as nice as roses”
I knew we still had a long way to go. I felt like I had a small child to take care of again. She couldn’t even remember if she’d eaten or not.
Over the last 6 months I have researched every last thing I can about brain injuries. I contacted anyone I thought could point me in the right direction of getting the help and therapy she desperately needed.
There is not a lot of general knowledge about severe concussions, there is awareness, yes, but knowledge and where to go is difficult to find.
She did find the right doctors and therapists, and for that we are forever grateful.
Our summer holiday in Riviera Maya meant my husband and I taking turns with both our daughters. One going out to visit ruins with our younger daughter, while one stayed at the resort with our concussed daughter.
Even snorkelling was too much for her. So we bought her a floaty, she put on the mask and snorkel and we pushed her around to see the fish. She loved it, whatever works!
Fast forward to today, 6 months later. She still has a lot of symptoms, but less severe. She is now in grade 12 and back at school.
Some days she can attend 2 classes, some all 4 classes, some days none. In all this the teachers and school have supported her and believed in her. They understand her brain is healing and she might hand work in late. They understand she might need to leave partway through a class because the pressure in her head is too much.
Today we attended her parent teacher interviews, it was almost too much but she insisted on coming. She rested all day so she would be up to it.
She has worked through a haze to get an A average. I am so inspired by her fight I can’t describe it.
The one hour of meetings in a loud gym and bright lights was too much. When we got home she promptly went to her room and slept for 4 hours.
I reminded her that she is so strong, and never to forget where she was and how far she’s come.
And bless her heart she said “mom, I probably won’t remember it, but I know you’ll remind me”
It’s been a long journey of therapy, frustration, support and even laughter. My teenage daughter has relied on me more than she ever has and the journey isn’t over yet.
She is getting there, and I will never let her forget how much she has inspired us all with her strength.
And I will plant those sunflowers that seemed.to mean so much to her.
Here goes nothing... 